Helloooo, deer!
I live smack in the middle of suburbia.
Obviously, no one told these deer on my front lawn that.
Perhaps they have come to play with Felicia, The Raccoon, who is back.
(Thank you Angela and Courtlandt Nelson for the photo!)
Laughter, Tears, Crazy People
Three books, less than thirty bucks.
Laughter, tears, crazy people. The usual.
Wishing you all well.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Cathy-Lamb/e/B001IGO5L0
Running Around Chasing Cats
I hope you were not running around the cul-de-sac in your neighborhood at 1:30 in the morning wearing a ripped nightgown and chasing your cats this week.
I was.
I blame Innocent Husband.
Insomnia is my cursed friend. So, at 1:30 at night, I am often up, sometimes writing what the weird characters in my head say and do.
I heard a sound outside, looked out the window into the dead of a black night and noticed that Innocent Husband had left all of the windows of his car down, plus his sun roof.
I do not know why he did this. Perhaps he is trying to catch falling stars or fairy dust or something. Innocent Husband often does things I do not understand. He baffles me.
I groaned and sent him a little glare as he snoozed in bed, then trooped out to close the windows of his car. I did this in a grumpy way.
I closed up the car’s windows and headed back to the house to chat with Mrs. Insomnia again when the cats, Leroy The Linebacker and Simon The Jittery One, snuck out.
They KNOW they are not supposed to be out late, they do. Leroy recently got in a fight with a cat AND a raccoon, one day apart, this last week. The raccoon was out when it was barely dusk. Two trips to the vet later and Leroy’s grounded.
But those bad cats RAN when I tried to get them back in the house. Those cats skittered away from me in the dead of a black night, stars shining down, the moon highlighting my ripped nightgown. They darted, they twisted, they turned.
I hissed their names like this, “LEROY!! SIMON!!” in a loud whisper so as not to wake my neighbors because I was flapping around in that little yellow, ripped, old nightie that does not come down to even mid-thigh. I have been married a LONG time to Innocent Husband so I wear frumpy stuff like this to bed.
Those two bad cats got together about ten feet away from me and KISSED, as in victory because of their late-night escape. It was like looking at two teenagers high-fiving each other.
I chased those bad cats around the island in our cul-de-sac looking like a damn fool. Around and around we went. I’d get close to catching one and the cat would giggle and take off, having so much fun.
I eventually gave up. I had to. I was out of breath. I was sweating. It is impossible to catch sneaky cats.They loved being chased. I could tell they were disappointed when I stopped playing that fun game. I could hear those cats laughing at me, I could.
I hope no one filmed me trying to grab them, stumbling over my own bare feat, my hair all over my face, swearing at my bad cats.
I sucked in air and trudged back into my house, only slightly limping.The cats laughed again. I think the moon may have laughed at me, too.
The cats came home the next morning. They looked victorious.
I have told Innocent Husband he is now grounded. He laughed at me, too.
Here is what you need to know: Cats laugh at us, they do.
(This is Leroy and Simon pretending they did nothing wrong.)
Chocolate Chips, Lemon Juice, A Pinch Of Cinnamon
In the interest of culinary science, only, and not because I wanted to eat a dozen chocolate chip cookies all by myself again, I made the Double Tree Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe.
I have to say, these are the best chocolate chip cookies ever. The difference is the lemon juice, the cinnamon, and more chocolate chips.
The more chocolate, the better, is how the saying goes, I think…
Hangin’ With The Cat
Hangin’ in my garden with Leroy The Cat.
Grateful for our heroic medical workers, ambulance drivers, firefighters, police, and all the people working for minimum wage in grocery stores risking their health, and lives, for us.
Take care everyone.
What Is The Date? What Day Is It?
All these days at home are running together as one for me.
It’s like an endless streak of days with no names. Is today Saturday? Or is it Tuesday? WAIT! It’s Thursday already? What happened to Wednesday? Did we decide to skip Wednesday this week? When was the last time we had a Sunday? We’re on Friday? Don’t lie to me now. Are you serious!? It’s Friday? Really? Has Monday been deleted? Are we on a six day week now? DOES IT MATTER?
I’m also getting my dates confused. I have to sneakily check my phone so I don’t look too crazy. I was very surprised to find out today that we are already on April 21.
How can this be? What happened to April 10th and April 14th and April 18th? Did we bypass those dates, too, so that we can hurry up and get to May? Was there some national agreement to speed April up that I missed out on?
So confusing. I may be losing my mind. In fact, I think I saw my mind wandering down the street…
Stay healthy everyone. Stay home. Read a book.
Try to figure out what day it is now and then…If you don’t know, it probably doesn’t matter…
Cookie Butter For A Writer
Yes, Cookie Butter is a thing.
It was a surprise to me, too.
In quarantine I will take all the cookie butter surprises I can get.
I didn’t know what to do with it so I ate it straight out of the jar with a spoon.
Seemed to work just fine that way.
Telling Cats What To Do
Innocent Husband and I have obviously spent too much time alone together.
He was complaining because the cats’ dirty paw prints are making a mess on the carpet when they come in from playing in the garden. So, in my infinite wisdom, I made a helpful sign.
I’m sure the cats, Leroy and Simon The Terrors, will do better in future.
I Am Now A Sourdough Starter
Well, this is a proud moment in my life. I am now a Sourdough Starter.
Montana Sister’s Man, nicknamed by me Magnificent Mighty Matt, made a sourdough starter and named her Catherine.
I am told that Catherine makes amazing bread.
It’s not often you get to have your name on a sourdough starter now, is it?
Teddy Bear Count
In my neighborhood, we are following the national game of Count That Teddy Bear.
So, I put teddy bears in my windows, above rose bushes and rhododendrons, so the kids could see and count them.
However, my teddy bears look like they’re being held hostage and are desperately trying to get someone’s attention so they can escape.
Adventurous Singing Daughter could hardly stop laughing when she came downstairs.
Sigh. I tried.
