My Mother Kept Our TV In The Closet Like A Wretched Family Secret
My childhood was a little bit quirky.
One of the quirky things about it was my sweet mother’s utter distaste for TV.
Bette Jean kept our black and white TV in the closet. Yes, in the closet. As if the TV was a wretched family secret that had to be locked away.
Our TV was as heavy as a crate of steel and as wide as a Mack truck. It was a looming black and gray blob. The unwieldy antennae looked like it came off a space ship. It had to be adjusted, stabilized, propped up. The picture was none too clear, often fuzzy.
The Blob had a handle on top and had to be heaved out of the closet and up onto a bench in the family room so we could watch it. You could darn near throw your back out hauling that TV in and out, but our inevitable broken backs and whining did not prevent my mother from insisting that we haul it right back into the closet the minute our show was over.
Bette Jean thought the TV was unsightly and she thought that the vast majority of TV shows were unsightly, too, and should not be watched. It rightly followed that she should not spend any hard earned money on a new TV and that TV should be somewhat difficult to view.
Now no one else’s mother thought this. Everyone else in the neighborhood had a color TV. Everyone else in the country probably had a colored TV. But not us. Oh, no. Many years after color TVs came out, we watched the ole’ black and white.
That TV was pretty embarrassing for a kid who really wanted to fit in but knew from a very early age she wasn’t quite going to.
Friends would say, “Where’s your TV, Cathy?” And I would, with great shame, open the door to the dark closet, as if I was letting out a roaring monster. Or the wretched family secret.
The only thing I could compare not having a colored TV to, at that time, is not having a refrigerator. In place of a refrigerator, you would have stacks of ice in your kitchen. Or, perhaps instead of an oven, you would have a cave in the kitchen that held hot rocks.
So what were we allowed to watch? Very few shows. One was The Waltons. For those of you too young to know, this was a show set on a farm in Virginia. It was about seven kids and their parents during the Great Depression. They prayed at dinner. We could also watch the Brady Bunch now and then. Bewitched.
Only good, clean, wholesome family shows.
We were also allowed to watch Saturday morning cartoons. I don’t think my mother liked us watching cartoons, (also unsightly) but she had four kids, she was wiped out, and the cartoons allowed her to sleep in a couple of hours one day a week.
Bette Jean could not sleep in on Sunday, God forbid, because she and my father had to cattle prod four kids out to Catholic mass, hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee, do not let your children watch TV.
So why the aversion to television shows? That’s a pretty simple answer. My mother was an English teacher. She believed in books. Books were far superior to any show.
She also believed that children should play outside. So we headed out the door to play hide and seek and kick the can and had all sorts of fun, and when we headed back in we often dove into the world of books.
I think of her and that hulking TV in the closet sometimes when I’m watching a show. My favorites? Property Brothers. Fixer Upper. Madam Secretary. A couple of reality shows I’m really too embarrassed to admit that I watch. My TV is up in a cabinet. The screen has to be three times the size of The Blob.
I like my shows, but Bette Jean had it right.
There is a rare show that is better than a great book.
Playing outside is really fun.
I hope to do more reading and more playing outside this summer, and less TV.
I’m going to wish you the same. And let me know if you put your TV in the closet. Bette Jean would really like that.
*** This is a photo of my parents’ first house in Huntington Beach, California, about 1965. It’s where the anti – TV saga began before we moved to Oregon and The Blob found a new home in the closet.
My Mom and your Mom would have got along great. My Mom did not like me watching TV. I was able to watch Wonderful World of Disney. Some cartoons. Family Affair and Brandy Bunch. My Mom also believed in children being outside playing and my 2 younger sisters took to this like,duck to water. I love swimming in our pool, but every change I got I snuck away to read! I need books and to be able to read more then I need food. Food feed my body. Reading feeds my heart, my soul, my spirit!
1Millie,
2I remember the Wonderful World of Disney. My parents allowed that – now and then, too. I feel the same as you about books. Love them. Truly do.
Hi Cathy,
3This is (again) too funny! You never fail to make me smile and laugh out loud when reading your posts and books. This is so similar to how I was brought up – we watched the exact same things. Friday night was our BIG night to watch tv and only night to have soda and popcorn – a big treat! (well, I DO agree with the soda thing…I don’t even drink it at all anymore). Anyhoo…I loved the simple things in life, grew up in central Iowa and now in the SF Bay area for over 20 years. Still love going back and enjoying the beautiful corn fields, etc (Iowa IS beautiful to those of us that understand its beauty..ha ha )
Can’t wait for your new book!!! I myself have 6 sisters and grew up Lutheran (very similar to Catholic, as you may know). I just LOVE LOVE LOVE getting lost in your books and only wish they would go on forever…and will look forward to reading and sharing this one with others, as well.
Lisa,
4I remember Friday night, as a teenager being a big night, too. Dallas and Falcon Crest. My sister and I would rush home from the local high school bball game and plant ourselves in front of that TV. And, like you, popcorn was the treat. Soda was NOT allowed in our house by my mama. I love the simple things in life, too, still. Books, coffee, time with family. Hope you like my next one. And SIX sisters? Oh, my gosh….
I’m a good little Catholic girl, too. My grandmother was an English teacher and we lived with her in 1955 (Long Island, N.Y.) when I was in 2nd grade. She instilled in me the LOVE of reading. TV watching was limited mostly because there was one B&W that was mostly baseball games (Go Yankees) watched by my grandfather! I did walk to school (same elementary that my Dad went to) and came home everyday for lunch and got to watch General Hospital in Grandpa’s chair with a TV table!! Lawrence Welk was a must watch by us all! Loved hearing from you, Cathy
5Betsy,
6It’s amazing how it takes just one person – in your case your grandmother, in my case my mother – to instill in us a love of reading. It’s a gift that goes on and on for life. I used to walk to school, too, but my mom never let me come home for lunch! I think she knew if I did I’d get home sick and not go back. She was a very nice mother….
Can’t wait to read the sister novel.By the way,we watch the same t.v.shows.Love Chip and Joanna. Mary
7I hope you like The Language of Sisters. I love Chip and Joanna and Fixer Upper, too. What a fun show to relax to.
8I’ve so enjoyed your books! If I ever whined about being “bored” as a kid, my mom would tell me to go read a book. It took awhile, but developed into a life long love of reading, which I passed on to my son. I can’t imagine a day without a book, and thank you for your wonderful imagination!
9Brenda,
10I completely understand. My parents could not have cared less if I was bored. They would have just said, “Go outside.”
With my own kids, the rule was if they eve said, “I’m bored,” they had to vacuum the whole house. It only took once. I haven’t heard, “I’m bored,” in years. I, too, can’t imagine a day without a book, Brenda!
Brenda,
11Thank you for your comment! My mom would always tell us the same thing if we were bored – go outside, or go read a book. I got my love of reading from my mother, too, we have that in common. With my own kids, when they were younger if they ever said, “I’m bored,” I made them vacuum the whole house. It stopped quickly. Have a great summer.
We had a small TV but it was never on during the day and in the evening (after my dad watched the news), it was only on for shows like Disney and Gunsmoke. We were all encouraged and loved playing outside in the summer until the street lights came on. When my husband and I were dating, we watched a lot of tv with my family n that small black and white TV because neither of us had money for dates – I was in college and he was in the military. The week after we got married, my dad bought a large color TV. We’ve always joked that he was afraid to Buy it any sooner because then we’d never get married. With 6 kids – he was ready to get rid of the oldest!
12Sue,
13That is a great story. Especially about your father wanting one kid out the door and married! And six kids….we had four. Interesting how often, when we were growing up, that families had a lot of kids. Glad you relate to our ole’ black and white.
I love all these comments. I was never a TV person. For as long as I can remember I loved to read. Books to me were far more interesting than TV. I expressed my preference to my husband that we not have a TV while our boys were growing up. Needless to say, I was overruled. Both of our boys preferred playing outside and would get frustrated with their neighborhood boy friends when they refused to come out and play. Your description of the closet TV is LOL!
14Sandra,
15My mother would have said, “Where do you THINK the TV should go? The living room?! Are you kidding?” So there the TV was in the Straight Family home – the closet.
Sandra,
16Saw your comment about your boys playing outside – that’s what kids should be doing. Playing outside and reading books. I think all this screen time can be really bad – especially socially – for many kids. The online bullying is awful. I doubt my mother would have even let us have a phone…