The Last Time I Was Me
“Women can look so innocent. And a few of them might be. Innocent, I mean. Most aren’t. Most have secrets. Pretty big ones if I do say so myself. They silently nurture raging passions they’ve smothered for years because life has insisted they do so. They hide who they truly are because they’re in a box and no one in their families would feel comfortable if they broke out of that box like a rose on speed. They think non-innocent thoughts like: Should I castrate my husband?”
“Women can smile and be gracious and kind. And most women usually are. Gracious and kind, I mean. But to assume that a woman, any woman, is completely innocent is to be completely naïve.”
Jeanne Stewart has had a nervous breakdown in front of 834 advertising executives. Grief has caught up with her at last. Her mother died, and her boyfriend cheated on her. She retaliated against him using a condom, an exacto knife, a hot glue gun and peanut oil. Then she was arrested by police officers who were laughing so hard at her “crime,” Jeanne had to put on her own handcuffs.
Driving across the country to Oregon, in her growling blue Bronco, Jeanne knows her life has collapsed. She decides to stay in the small town of Weltana because she likes the pancakes she eats in a café and the people are kind.
Jeanne impulsively buys a rambling, run-down house along the river that needs as much work as she does. She makes quirky new friends and finds out how far she’ll go to protect those friends. Attending court-ordered anger management class soon has her running along a river naked, covering her body in paint, and participating in a raucous bar fight.
She does not expect to fall in love.
Last Time I Was Me a hilarious, make-you-cry novel that will have you reading late into the night.
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