August 09, 2016

He Talked To Many Voices

He talked to many voices.

He walked in as I was indulging in my daily drink at Starbucks.

He said, “Can I sit here?”

I said, “Yes, of course,” and he sat down across from me.

His conversation began immediately to the invisible people only he could see and hear. He muttered in a monotone, a quiet voice, as if he was far away.

I listened as I flipped through a book. He chatted with this person, and that, he swore now and then, but not in anger, he laughed, he asked questions, he used hand gestures.

He was very clearly in the midst of a pleasant visit with a group of people who were meeting in his mind.

I was glad, for him, that the voices weren’t causing him pain or anguish or scaring him. That is a heart breaking thing to see.

He seemed like he was happy, engaged, interested, in his imaginary world, at least for that moment in time.

He was fairly clean, leather jacket, boots. I felt no threat from him at all.

But as I listened to him, talking into the air, his brain tragically mis – firing, I thought, “This is someone’s son. He has a mother. He has a father.” I thought about their grief, their incessant worry, their sheer pain raising a son who may well have been “normal” growing up.

He may have played sports, smiled at girls, studied in school and then, something changed.

A flip switched in his mind. A breakdown. A snap.

Then the voices came and lived in this man’s head.

How horrible for him and for his family. How positively terrifying to feel yourself slipping like that, to battle reality vs. what is in your head, who is in your head, taunting you, scaring you, taking YOU away.

Why did it happen? Why him? Why so many people?

Who knows.

But I felt for him, sitting there across from me in Starbucks, I felt for his family. That could have been me. It could have been you. It could have been our kids.

And, maybe it is. Millions of people deal with family members who they love and adore who have a mental illness of some sort. So many people themselves deal with it every single day of their lives.

In a bitter moment, I thought of the billions of dollars we spend on weapons to kill other people, to invade other countries, and I thought of our broken mental health system.

It’s not right.

It isn’t.

We should take good care of each other here in this country and we’re not taking good care of our people with mental illness. Go to any city, any town, anywhere, and you’ll see some of these suffering people, like the man across from me, on the streets.

They do not belong on the streets. They should not be there.

It’s not safe.

Having a mental illness is like having pneumonia in your mind. We treat pneumonia. We need to treat this.

We need to put mental illness at the top of our list. We need to dump more money into research, into medications, into fixing and helping and curing and treating, with inpatient and outpatient care.

And for those who can’t beat it, we need to provide healthy, happy, safe places for them to live so they’re not on the streets, wandering, in danger, prey for criminals.

For the man across from me, talking to people only he could see and hear, a complete cure might not come in time.

But it might.

And that’s what we have to hold onto, hope for, advocate for.

Why?

Because he’s worth it.

He is someone’s son

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4 Comments to “He Talked To Many Voices”


  1. Thank you for this. It’s a subject that is near and dear to me. You want to hold them – love the hurt away – but they need so much more. Your sharing means so much.

    1
    • Pam, thank you!
      So hard to deal with mental illness with people we love. And for them, too, it’s just an incredibly hard journey.

      2
  2. Thank you so much for this post!
    Let me say as a mother of a son with mental illness, this hits home. Of course we want to give our children wings to fly, but when mental illness impacts a person’s daily life then the letting go is so hard and sometimes damaging for the family. As any child, our children long to be independent from family, doctors, medication, and therapy; however, without all of these areas working together then their lives are a constant struggle. With that struggle, our country must face these individuals (our children) as homeless, prey, beggars, substance abuse victims and burdens on society. I believe this country must make changes in the mental health system and the negative way in which mental illness is viewed. As you stated in your post money, research, affordable medication, therapy, and facilities for in or out patient treatment, as well as, housing are needed to begin to improve the lives of our country’s mentally ill. America must take a stand to make a change because my child and many other children deserve the opportunity to enjoy life. Thanks again from a mom

    3
  3. Shelly,
    Thank you for writing, I am so sorry about your son. Yes, mental illness is just a beast. So hard for everyone, the person who it afflicts and everyone who loves that person. It truly is a nightmare. There are many more things we can do, as a country, to support these people. It’s ridiculous, and so very sad, that we don’t. We need everything that you mentioned above because every single person is worth it.

    4


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Cathy Lamb
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