I was invited to make a “Gather Your Hellfire Crown” with a group of women in Portland recently, including  Sandra Drake, Linda French, and Carol McClure.

The term “Gather Your Hellfire” comes from my book The First Day Of The Rest of My Life.

These ladies get together once a month and make crafts.  I love it. Crafts, women, chatting, laughing, sharing. What a wonderful bonding experience.  Girlfriends are the best. What would we do without them?

(Excerpt below from The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life, which hopefully will help to explain the “hellfire” comment.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s the passage from The First Day Of  The Rest Of My Life…

My momma made the best of her time in jail. 

This is not to say that she liked it but, as she told us, “I gathered my hellfire, don’t forget that line, Madeline and Annie, sometimes you gotta gather your hellfire, and I made the most of a difficult situation. Did you know they don’t allow high heels in prison?” She winked at us. “No pink, either! I broke my own cardinal rule: Don’t be frumpy! Let yourself shine!”

The warden of the women’s jail had a sister who was a customer of momma’s, and she raved about momma’s Marie Elise’s Excellent Cuts and Cuticles. The warden asked Momma to cut the hair of the inmates and do their nails. You had to earn the haircuts and the manicures, though.

You couldn’t get one automatically, like a standing appointment on Thursday at 4:00 after mopping or laundry duty. So, using that bribery, the ruckus at the jail went way, way down. It’s amazing what a cut and style can do!

“Those girls,” my momma told us one day when we were visiting, “At least most of them, have been led astray by the men in their lives. They had terrible childhoods and they were led into drugs or alcohol and made messes of their lives. I tell them, when you get out of jail, practice the I Am Me, Stay Out Of My Way program.

“I tell them, you go to college and get a degree, you get training, you stay away from those gutter – minded idiots. Keep your hair and nails trimmed and styled all the time, proper and pretty. If you’re broke, buy one crisp white blouse and one pink blouse. One pair of beige pants, one pair of black pants, and never be without a black skirt and black heels. Put your chin up, your shoulders back, and walk like you’re worth it. That’s the Shake Your Confidence and Strut talk I give.”

She led hair-do and make-up classes at the jail, which she called, “Being A Lady,” classes. It was a, “How to look like a respectable lady and attract respectable people to you, not bad people, not slutty people, not criminals, but respectable people, because you ladies, are respectable!”

She told me later, when she was out of jail, “Honey, I had to do something in there, had to help those other ladies, or I’d lose my mind, I missed you and Annie so much, my stomach almost ate me alive. Now let me give you an up-do with those curls of yours, and we’ll play dress up with Annie, go and get your sister.”