Talking To Myself While Shopping
Yesterday I went shopping.
I hate shopping. The crowds, the lights, the noise, and all these pant sizes that I am SURE have shrunk in the last year.
I am not into fashion and I can’t find anything unless my daughters pick it out and tell me what to wear.
Unfortunately, I needed to get something to wear to my presentation at Powell’s Books that night and Rebel Oldest Daughter and Rebel Youngest Daughter are away at school.
Way to wait until the last minute, right?
I dragged a bunch of dresses into the dressing room at Macy’s. It was like entering fashion hell for me, complete with a hot flash and bad lighting that emphasized cellulite and a grumpy face.
I groaned and whined and moaned.
I didn’t realize I was talking OUT LOUD to myself in the dressing room until I heard someone thunk the wall between us. I’m sure she thought I was an utter loon.
I should have been embarrassed at talking to myself at such loud volume, but I am too old for embarrassment anymore.
These are the things I said before The Thunk.
1) That dress looks good on your boobs but not on your butt.
2) You need Spanx.
3) Where do we buy Spanx?
4) Would Spanx give me a hot flash? I don’t want to have a hot flash at Powell’s.
5) Your butt is too big.
6) How did your butt get that big?
7) Please stop eating chocolate.
8) You look like you’re sort of pregnant.
9) Why are you even trying on this dress? What are you, Pollyanna?
10) That is way too expensive. We’re not buying that!
11) Take that off. Just take it off.
I know. Pathetic.
I didn’t find anything to wear for Powell’s.
I called my friend, Karen Calcagno, who I was supposed to meet for dinner before the presentation. I canceled because I was going to have to raid my closet for something decent to wear. Karen and I have been friends for twenty years. We have seen life together. Lots of it beautiful, some of it harsh and sad, and it has knocked us on our butts.
But we laugh a lot and it has been a staple of our friendship. Karen is also very wise. She told me after I had blubbered on and on, “Cathy, go home. Put on your favorite pair of jeans. Put on a t – shirt. Get that beautiful lace shirt you have and wear that. Be comfortable.”
And that’s what I did.
I was trying to find something fancy to wear to Powell’s, but I don’t do fancy. I do jeans. So I wore my favorite jeans and the lace shirt to Powell’s, exactly as Calm Zen Karen told me to do.
I spoke about my latest book “What I Remember Most.” Lots of people came. They were all friendly and fun. My journalism teacher from high school was there, as usual.
I don’t think they cared what I wore, but I felt better in my old jeans than a dress, that is for sure. I would have felt like I was suffocating and hot flashing in Spanx.
Once again I learned my lesson: Be you. You’re best being you.
(If you were next to me in the dressing room at Macy’s and you heard me talking to myself, don’t be alarmed! I talk to myself, and my characters, all day long. I am safe to be around, now don’t you worry.)
You looked GORGEOUS! However, you always do. Just sitting in the back watching your body language, the rise and fall of your speech, well simply put you leave me in awe. You capture your audience so fast and you’re so riveting that I can assure you that most don’t even remember what you wear. That being said, I love that lace tank! It is classy, casual, you looked beautiful, and you are.
I loved this book. I loved the softening process you went through to make Grenady a more loving person. I WANT Kade! What a wonderful man to help a broken woman become herself. I loved and always love you books. Thank you for all you work! We benefit greatly for your talented hard work.
Terri~
1Terri, I have to read this whenever I’m having a bad day! Thanks!!
I want Kade, too. That’s the fun of writing a dash of romance, you can create the perfect man who wants to make life lovely for the love of his life. I do love the daydreaming part of that….
2PS: If I had been in the dressing room next to you I would have been answering you!
3Oh, I know you would have, Terri. It would have been hilarious!
4Loved this blog post 😀 Had I been in the dressing room next to yours, you would have heard me yell back, “Same here!!!”. And I hate those mirrors – they do emphasize flows!
5Oh, especially mirrors in dressing rooms. Can the lighting BE any worse? More unflattering? Of all places for soft and pretty lighting…you would have thought the stores would have “gotten” it by now.
6When you become President of the Universe Cathy, I think you’re first order of business should be to make stores like Macy’s put in flattering lighting and “skinny” mirrors so that we all have a good experience shopping! 🙂 Loved this post! Good for you for being YOU. That’s why we all read your books!
7President of the Universe!
Hmm. What a title.
First, stop all wars and violence….
Then make chocolate and coffees free of calories!
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