At almost every book group I attend, and every speech I give, I am asked about the research I do for my books.

Here is a list of the more difficult topics I have had to research/talk to experts/study over the course of seven years of writing for my publishing house.

1) Depression, including manic depression

2) Schizophrenia

3) Abuse of all types, physical, mental, emotional, sexual

4) The mind of a stalker

5) Delayed grief

6) Migrant workers’ lives and the conditions they live in in America

7) Germaphobia

8. Agoraphobia

9) Promiscuity

10) Other mental illnesses

11) Down syndrome

12) Post traumatic stress from being in a war

13) Bariatric surgery

14) Anorexia

15) Abused wives and mind control

16)  Child porn

17) Germany’s invasion of France

18) Escaping from the Nazis

19) Songs on the violin

20) Brain operations, shunts in the brain.

21) Drug Addiction

How much research did I have to do for these topics? Lots. Endless. Piles of it.

My research goes on and on and on until I am dizzy with it and I know what I need to know, and about a hundred things I don’t need to know.

I want to get things right. I owe it to my readers and, more importantly, I owe it to people who have struggled with the above named issues to be accurate, knowledgeable, and respectful of their painful journeys.

So, when I need help, I call the best people I can find.

When I needed information on schizophrenia, I called the head of the Oregon State Hospital.

When I needed information from the police about what charges would be filed for this or that, I call ’em up. (No, I do not call 911, you silly readers) One time I specifically called the head of the sex crimes unit at Portland Police. We talked for quite awhile. He has a tough job.

When I needed information on general medicine, I called Oregon Health Sciences University or I called my awesome doctor, Dr. H, who makes me laugh even when I’m having a pap smear.

When I needed information on brain operations I called Dr. W’s office at Emanuel.

When I needed information on hospice, I called Hopewell House.

When I needed information on criminal activity from the FBI, I went and visited with two agents downtown.

Everyone calls me back.

Everyone except our current Oregon governor, Dr. John Kitzhaber.

I called him years ago when I was writing The Last Time I Was Me.  Jeanne Stewart is working on the re – election campaign for a current governor. Who better to talk to about how a gubernatorial campaign is run while still in office than the governor of our state who had to do this very same dreary and torturous thing?

His secretary was so kind and polite when I called. She said that Dr. Kitzhaber always likes to help people in Oregon, no this wasn’t a problem, he would call me back, what was my number, and could I forward the questions?

Sure! I could forward the questions. I was dee-lighted to do so.

Now I do not recall the exact words for my questions and the computer I used to write on exploded so I don’t have a copy but they were something, somewhat, like this:

1) If, Governor, you hired a woman to work on your campaign and you found out that woman had been arrested for putting peanut oil in her cheating, ex-boyfriend’s condom and he had a rashy reaction because he is allergic to nuts, would you fire her from your campaign?

2) If that same woman got in a bar fight, leaped on the back of a man, threw a few punches and ended up in a paddy wagon on the way to the police station, would you believe her to be no longer competent to do her job?

3) What if you met that woman when she was running naked along a river at night and she crashed right into you and called you a “creep,” and said, “Shit yourself, asshole,” after slugging you in the jaw, then showed up in your office for an interview. Would her naked run and poor language preclude you from hiring her?

4) Finally, what if she was a real smart mouth and said things like, “Slick dick,” and “Jared Nunley will get money from me as soon as the moon becomes purple and Canadians adopt Swahili as their national language,” and, “Welts, redness and rashes – cheating men should watch their asses.” Is she still a keeper?

He never called.

Poor me and woe is me.

I can’t say that I blame him. Answering questions about condoms would make any politician nervous.

And no politician wants to envision being tackled by a naked constituent along a river at night, either. It’s bad policy.

Plus, he’s busy with Important Stuff.

I will say that D.L., who runs Republican campaigns, including Senator Gordon Smith’s campaign, did call back. He did not even laugh at my questions, as if women running naked were something he saw often and poisoned condoms were run of the mill. We went to high school together and D.L. takes things seriously. He took my questions seriously and I liked his answers.

I also talked to a woman named M.B., who was an aide to US Rep Earl Blumenauer.  She took my questions seriously, too, and gave me all the inside scoop about running campaigns, personalities, strategies, etc.  I threw all their information into my book.

But Dr. Kitzhaber, Governor, I don’t know what to say.

You’ve wrestled with legislatures filled with Strange People. You’ve dealt with some politicians who would have just as soon challenged you to a duel on the steps of the state capitol wearing flamingo suits rather than agree with your policies.

But I voted for you! Three times!

I’ve got a witch and a few spells in my next book. Maybe you’d like to comment?