I had a grumpy grandma.Her name was Dorothy. She smoked, she drank, and she swore, sometimes all at once. She wore bright red lipstick.

She was cranky, and quite critical of my sweet mother, akin to a pick axe, who was her daughter-in-law. My sisters and brother and I, somewhat feral, made her anxious and jumpy.

I think you could say, politely, that she was “snippy.”

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I got her curls. I got her height. I got her bluntness and her temper, although I’ve mellowed out in recent decades. I got most, but not all, of her nose.

I loved my Grandma Dorothy in a cautious way. She was married to my granddad who was in the airline industry way back when in Los Angeles.

Granddad was a Chuck Yeager drinking buddy. Let us stress the words “drinking buddy.” As in, Granddad was not afraid to slam back a few on a regular basis. He did not say “no” to scotch. Or bourbon. Or whiskey.

Maybe Grandma Dorothy was grumpy because of her husband and the copious scotch, that would make complete sense. Wife-Scotch-Husband is not a happy threesome.

Maybe it was because of the very tight constraints and total lack of equality our society, the government, and the church wrapped women up in, stifling and judgmental.

Grandma Dorothy was born in 1913. She didn’t have the opportunity or choice to become who she could have become. She was supposed to get married young, stay married forever, regardless, have children and become an obedient housewife, ready to serve one and all while wearing a clenched smile, clean apron, pearls, and heels.

But she was smart and sharp and I have an impossible time believing that the lack of freedom and fairness went over well with her at all. I would have been, at best, grumpy, so I have a lot of compassion for her.

She liked to play bridge with friends, drink and smoke, the haze heavy, the gossip as light as the martinis. But she wasn’t happy, even as a kid I could sense that.

My grandma made me cry one day over the shoes I was wearing for my First Communion in our Catholic church. I was in second grade.

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Happy day to you!

Cathy

https://cathylamb.substack.com/p/my-grandma-cigarettes-liquor-and