A Little Music, a New(ish) Book
Hello everyone,
Click on my video below for a little music, and a little information about my new book, “I’m Not Yours.”
Super summer reading, happy ending, funny at times…
Happy Summer Reading
Hello everyone! Happy summer reading to you!
I just wanted to let you know that “Ruthie Deschutes O’Hara Has Ulterior Motives” and “Ten Kids, Two Lovebirds, and a Singing Mermaid,” are now on Kindle Unlimited in case you need a summer read! 
Here’s what they’re about…
RUTHIE DESCHUTES O’HARA HAS ULTERIOR MOTIVES:
A hilarious, touching story about love…at any age.
Ruthie Deschutes O’Hara is 70 years old. Her huge family, eccentric and rebellious, owns a popular tequila business in central Oregon, which they run off “the homestead.”
A retired English teacher who loves books, Ruthie has been widowed for five years. Her beloved late husband and she used to watch a reality TV dating show called “Marry Me,” along with their dignified old dogs, curious cats, snorting pig, and scary rabbit who sometimes screams.
The “grooms” on “Marry Me” had the intellectual capabilities of grunting cavemen, according to Ruthie, as they dated the “brides,” and yet, the show was oddly entertaining.
But Ruthie has a big problem that needs to be solved in a creative way. She decides to do something daring. Something out of character. Something…outrageous.
She will become a contestant on a new “Marry Me” for seniors! She’ll compete for a groom, along with two dozen other “mature” brides.
She has no interest in the groom, that would be ridiculous. She’s not looking to fall in love again, that would be silly. Good heavens, she’s certainly not looking to wed the man, but if she was chosen for “Marry Me,” she could probably solve her perplexing problem. All would then be well again…
Ruthie Deschutes O’Hara has ulterior motives.
She is not going on “Marry Me” for the right reasons.
She is not prepared for what happens next.
+++++
TEN KIDS, TWO LOVEBIRDS, and a SINGING MERMAID:
Set in Huntington Beach, California in 1979, the O’Briens and Rossis become next door neighbors and life is never the same again.
July 2019
Jesse O’Brien receives the phone call she never wanted and never expected. Her frightened sister, Joyce, tells her, “She’s missing.”
June 1979
On the day Jesse’s mother’s marriage fell apart, her face was slathered in snow-white cold cream, everything but her mouth and small circles around her eyes covered. She wore a plastic cap to dye a few gray hairs snaking through her thick brown waves and a pink polyester housedress.
Annie O’Brien, usually calm and cheerful, is livid as her husband tells her he’s leaving her and their five children for a woman who looks like Barbie.
Stunned, Jesse follows her furious parents outside as her father loads his suitcases into his Alfa Romeo and her mother loads a pie into her hand and heaves it at her father then waters his face with a hose.
When the dust settles, the Alfa Romeo roaring down the street, the cold cream now mixed with cherry pie filling, the shattered O’Brien family meets the Rossi family who have just moved in next door: Tommy, a Vietnam vet who looks like a motorcycle gang leader; his sister, Liliana, who believes she’s a mermaid; and Tommy’s five kids. They are mildly surprised at the family drama, but eager to get to know their exciting new neighbors.
Five kids plus five kids equals ten, and the adventures begin with an ending no one saw coming.
Inspired by Cathy Lamb’s childhood, TEN KIDS TWO LOVEBIRDS, AND A SINGING MERMAID is a funny, sweet story about life changing pies and Slip ‘N Slides, swearing parrots and sunny days, and mending aching hearts…together.
BOTH BOOKS ONLY AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
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Need a summer read?
I bet you need a book that will make you smile.
And laugh.
And take you away from life.
I have one for ya.
Only on Amazon: https://shorturl.at/MtRHH
For Women who Need Wine, a Bubble Bath, and a Break…
Click on the link to see my new article on Substack about my book I’m Not Yours.
I chat about the two novellas, June’s Lace and The Apple Orchard, how women can wear cool glasses in a bubble bath, balance wine on their stomachs, and how cackling like a witch helped me to write my latest stories.
https://cathylamb.substack.com/p/my-newish-book-is-out-today
Happy reading to all!
My New(ish) Book is out TODAY!
Need two entertaining summer romances?
My new(ish) book, “I’m Not Yours,” is out TODAY. The two modern love stories, “June’s Lace” and “The Apple Orchard” were written for women who need wine, a bubble bath, and a break.
Oh, and a few laughs.
Only on Amazon: https://shorturl.at/BtFnQ
A little info on these two novellas…
THE APPLE ORCHARD
Allie Pelletier was fired from her executive position at a fancy clothing chain after her boss, a difficult and deranged woman, threw her Manolo Blahnik shoes at her head.
Allie was relieved as her seventy-hour work weeks were exhausting. She caught the shoes and headed out. She sold her condo in a flash and moved to the old farmhouse and apple orchard that her estranged late father left her, along with a menagerie of funny pets.
When Spunky Joe the horse accidentally kicked her, Allie landed in the emergency room.
When Dr. Jace Rios, the love of her life she pushed away years ago, walked in, she ingloriously fainted at his feet.
And there we begin. Two people must overcome a painful history and buried secrets to be together again.
With a little apple pie, it just might work.
(SHHH. BIG secret: It does work! But this is a romance story so you knew that.)
JUNE’S LACE
June MacKenzie is a wedding dress designer living in a charming blue cottage on a cliff above the Oregon Coast. Her dresses are eccentric and daring – a black leather and white lace dress for a motorcycle enthusiast, a dress filled with tiny white lights for a bride who loves fireflies.
June is positive she will never design her own wedding dress because she’s going through a mind-numbing divorce. Her soon to be ex-husband is a controlling vermin-man who has decided he wants part of her business. She would rather be hit by lightning.
But when June is knocked over by a sneaker wave and rescued by a sincere and steamy-hot country music songwriter, she knows she’s been knocked over by more than just water.
Amidst planning her sister’s wedding with her hilarious, eccentric family, can she learn to trust the singing cowboy in front of her?
(SPOILER ALERT! Yes, she can!)
*** Eons ago, almost in the time of castles, knights, and yore, June’s Lace was previously printed in Beach Season and The Apple Orchard was previously printed in You’re Still the One.
Happy Fourth of July!
Happy Fourth of July, everyone!
We’re having a BBQ with friends, then my neighborhood will sound like it’s exploding, and next I’ll settle in to read a book.
Wishing you a joyful day.
PS My new(ish) book “I’m Not Yours,” with two novellas, is out next week!
Merry Summer
Editing my Christmas book, today. It’s going to be a loooong few months.
I shall need some magic from Mrs. Claus, help from Rudolph, and an elf or too.
Wishing you a Merry Summer.
I’m Not Yours
Greetings! I’M NOT YOURS is out in a few days, I think, probably, hoping…Here’s what the two novellas, The Apple Orchard and June’s Lace, are about…
The Apple Orchard
Allie Pelletier was fired from her executive position at a fancy clothing chain after her boss, a difficult and deranged woman, threw her Manolo Blahnik shoes at her head. Allie was relieved as her seventy-hour work weeks were exhausting. She caught the shoes and headed out. She sold her condo in a flash and moved to the old farmhouse and apple orchard that her estranged late father left her, along with a menagerie of funny pets. When Spunky Joe the horse accidentally kicks her, Allie lands in the emergency room. When Dr. Jace Rios, the love of her life she pushed away years ago, walks in, she ingloriously faints at his feet. And there we begin. Two people must overcome a painful history and buried secrets to be together again. With a little apple pie, it just might work.
June’s Lace
June MacKenzie is a wedding dress designer living in a charming blue cottage on a cliff above the Oregon Coast. Her dresses are eccentric and daring – a black leather and white lace dress for a motorcycle enthusiast, a dress filled with tiny white lights for a bride who loves fireflies. June is positive she will never design her own wedding dress because she’s going through a mind-numbing divorce. Her soon to be ex-husband is a controlling vermin-man who has decided he wants part of her business. She would rather be hit by lightning. But when June is knocked over by a sneaker wave and rescued by a sincere and steamy-hot country music song writer, she knows she’s been knocked over by more than just water. Alas, she can’t “do” love again, even though Reece likes to dance with her on the sand…
*** Eons ago, almost in the time of castles, knights, and yore, “June’s Lace” was printed in “Beach Season” and “The Apple Orchard” was printed in “You’re Still the One.”
Hear Ye, Hear Ye
Coming soon….one brand new Christmas novel, one three-novella Christmas collection, and one two-novella romance. Links to follow.
**** Eons ago, almost in the time of castles, knights, and yore, the stories in “WANTED: Christmas Miracles” and “I’m Not Yours” were printed in different anthologies. Hear ye, hear ye, you probably didn’t read them.
My Mom and a Burgundy Clematis
Happy Sunday! I’m reading / writing / sitting in my garden. See the clematis? That was my late mother’s.
She’s been gone 23 years and every summer when it blooms I just smile, and get a little teary, and remember what a beautiful, amazing, strong woman she was.
We both love books, we both love gardening, we both love reading books in a garden.
New – Old Book Coming Out Soon!
I’m Not Yours is coming out soon! Two happy-ending, funny love stories set in Oregon: The Apple Orchard and June’s Lace. Perfect for summer and for those who need to read cheerful books to counter the mess and stress of real life. Links to follow.
++ Both stories published eons ago in 2012 and 2013 in anthologies. If ya don’t remember reading them then, they’ll be NEW TO YOU.
When the Moon is Full…
If you need a summer read, I have two short stories coming out soon, June’s Lace and The Apple Orchard. The title of the book is I’m Not Yours. Cover and link will be available when the moon is full and a small rainbow shines overhead.
(Previously published in You’re Still the One and Beach Season eons ago…in a far away galaxy…in a time when buggies were pulled by horses and bonnets were worn…)
Crashing and Bashing
Two Things.
One: I did not expect all the blood.
Two: I knew it was too late to go running.
But I need to run four times a week or my brain sizzles and fizzles in a really bad way and I’d been too busy to run earlier.
Running and sweating cleans my brain out. I have no medical or scientific data to back that up, it’s just how I, as a writer with too many troublesome characters in my head, and a person prone to irrational worry, sees it.
The night was quiet except for an off-key gang of geese as I huffed and puffed through the neighborhood wishing I was a lazy sloth in the bath eating cookies while watching reality TV. I am quite talented at being a lazy sloth.
I don’t know why the devious curb all of the sudden decided to wiggle and trip me up. I don’t know why the evil sidewalk extended a bit of cement with a cackle. I don’t know why the criminal cracks in the concrete widened deliberately at that exact moment, but I’m quite sure they did.
I tripped. Hard. I may have halfway twirled in the air before crashing and bashing up my knees, my elbow, and my hands. My right hand did not want to move anymore, I noted, as blood dripped from all of the other aforementioned places. I lay there for awhile, closely examining from mere inches, the sidewalk.
My phone, which I use to listen to books or music, had gone flying into the night sky so when I could speak I barked out a whole litany of very bad swear words and crept around on my bloodied up knees to find it.
I was only mildly embarrassed about those swear words as I briefly hoped I did not end on You Tube with a caption like, “Old Woman Swears Wildly as she Crawls Around the Ground,” or “This is the Kind of Crazy – Ass Woman You Don’t Want to Become,” or “When Seniors Talk and Swear to Imaginary Friends and Enemies: What to do.”
Read the rest here on my FREE Substack newsletter…
https://open.substack.com/pub/cathylamb/p/crashing-and-bashing?r=kayfq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
New Books and Magical Passageways
Greetings from Oregon!
I have two books coming out – one for summer with two short stories, and one for Christmas with three short stories.
They’re stories I wrote for anthologies years ago with other authors so my guess is that they may be new to most of you. This is the first time my stories are packaged together.
I wrote them with hope, laughter, and entertainment in mind. Yes, they’re all happy endings, which we desperately need right now, and yes, there’s a little romance, but more than that they’re about women whose lives have become a s***storm and they’re putting them back together. You may be familiar with your life becoming a s***storm, as I am.
So, PLEASE, save some room in your summer / Christmas book lists for these Cover for the beach book stories coming soon.
Cover for the beach book stories coming soon.This is a cool “secret passageway” that Innocent Husband and I saw this weekend on a hike at the Oregon coast. It has nothing to do with my books, but that “secret passageway” made me think of time travel books and magical mysteries and enchantments.
Yes, this is where a writer’s mind goes…anything can trigger a storyline.
Wishing you some magical enchantments.
Dirt is Good For You
The glamor in my life continues.
This is me after I finished using a pressure washer on our trellis.
As you can see I am wearing dirt for make up. But AT LEAST the patio is clean, and my flowers are planted, helping to make my garden pretty and peaceful for writing books.
Dirt is good for you, just try not to eat it.
Innocent Husband Was Mean to Me
This weekend I told Innocent Husband that I needed to go to the store to buy more flowers. Specifically, petunias.
He was aghast. Aghast!
He spread his arms out wide like an avenging eagle and indicated the new flowers surrounding us in their black plastic containers.
“What do you need MORE flowers for, Cathy?”
I could hardly believe my ears. I was befuddled. Baffled. What did he mean when he said, “What do you need MORE flowers for?”
That’s like asking me why I need air. Or a skeletal frame. Or cells. Or eyeballs or kidneys. “I don’t understand your question.”
“You haven’t even planted the flowers that you already bought!” The husband – avenging eagle spread his arms out further. What was he trying to do? Fly away? Elevate himself? Become a human airplane? Silly man.
This conversation was confusing to me so I glared at him. Yes, I had bought purple and magenta hydrangeas and a flowing fern and bright red, cheerful geraniums and purple fuchsias and an azalea that called my name in a sing-song voice. They had not been planted yet.
Why was this an issue?
Why was Innocent Husband botanically bullying me? Why was he speaking such nonsense?
“As a gardener, you don’t need to plant all the flowers you’ve bought before you buy new ones.”
Doesn’t everyone know this? Isn’t it common knowledge? “Are you feeling crazy, baby?”
Innocent Husband sighed which indicated that he did not believe he was feeling crazy.
I believed there was a possibility. Why on Earth would a sane husband ask such an inane question of his wife?
I shook my head at him, the poor man. “The sun is effecting your ability to think. You should go lay down or watch golf and yell at golfballs.”
“I don’t yell at golf balls,” he muttered.
“Yeah, you do. I’ve seen it.”
Click on the link to read my FREE article on Substack.
Come and Join Me on Substack
Hello everyone,
I am writing, now and then, when I see a hummingbird, when the stars are aligned in a mermaid shape, when the rain is sparkling, a newsletter on Substack.
I talk about writing, life, and laughter.
If you would like to sign up to receive my (rare) newsletters, you can click on this link. Have a lovely day.
https://cathylamb.substack.com/
Vindictiveness
Warning: You may not like me by the end of this article.
I am asked all the time where I get my ideas for my books.
I think it’s an excellent question.
I get ideas everywhere. My quirky childhood. History. A gold and pink sunset on the Oregon coast. Clucky chickens. Pecan pies and whip cream.
Lies.
Revenge.
Vindictiveness.
It is probably not a smart idea to say that I have a slight vengeful side to my nature, as that is not attractive, but I am too old not to be truthful, and to know myself, and I admit it.
Not proud of it, but there it is: I have a vengeful bone in my body.
Probably just one. A small one. A mostly useless bone. Perhaps in my jaw or eye socket.
But when people really tick me off there is a likelihood that the obnoxious, condescending, dismissive, or judgmental PART of their personality is going to unceremoniously land in a character in one of my books.
That person will not, as a whole person, or even half a person, be in my book. My characters come completely out of my free-roaming imagination.
But that prickly, nauseating, dislikable PART will be in one of my characters.
I did this very thing in one of my last few books, the title of which shall mysteriously go unnamed.
A peculiar, sanctimonious sap of a woman lied about me. She should not have done that. The lie had a painful impact on my life.
I have envisioned her being slightly trampled by a shrieking ostrich. I cannot wish more upon her than that because I am not a mean sort of person who wishes ill on anyone.
God, Karma, a conscience that can spring to guilt in a mini-second, and my late mother’s sweet voice unfortunately gets in my way of truly cursing someone.
But I can write about that PART of her. The lying part.
To read more, please go to my Subtack newsletter…
Vindictive Cat
I am writing a Substack column titled “Vindictiveness.”
As you can see, my advisor is with me. Unfortunately I made the mistake of touching one of my advisor’s paws. So he bit me. Advisors shouldn’t bite. It’s not polite.
I informed my advisor of this but he seemed unmoved and gave me this cold look. He’s a rescue and still working on his manners. Ironically, the biting actually goes along quite well with my column.
Perhaps my advisor was feeling vindictive. Have a nice day.
Happy Valentine’s Day…From the Cats and Me
Happy Valentine’s Day!
I’m sick so I’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day by watching some really ridiculous reality TV with Innocent Husband and the bad cats. Hopefully he will remember to buy me a little cake.
I’ll tell him now not to forget, just to be sure…
Talking to My Cats
Do you think it’s odd that I ask my cats about their opinions on the stories I’m writing and what the characters are doing?
I don’t either.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
If you need a little literary love, light, and laughter in your life, you might try these books.
(Yes, I really tried hard to add the alliteration here. It’s not very good. But, it’s after midnight, and this is the time when I am easily, and oddly, entertained by sentence structure and word choice. It is clearly time for me to go to bed.)
Only on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=cathy+lamb&crid=80Y453OZUH8U&sprefix=cathy+lamb%2Caps%2C159&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
We Camped for SIX Weeks…
When I was a little girl living in Huntington Beach, California my father, an engineer, received a sabbatical from work.
For some reason, my parents, Jim and Bette, both decided it would be a splendid idea if they took four kids and two dogs camping up and down the California and Oregon coast for six weeks.
Yes, SIX WEEKS.
In a big blue tent.
With sleeping bags.
One dog, Frisky, tried to bite people, the other, Alphy, tried to bite other dogs. They weren’t very pleasant.
Some people might say my parents lost their minds ever so slightly…
CLICK ON THE LINK to read for free on Substack.
What a Literary Mess
How not to read a book: Choose a book to read that everyone loves, NY Times best seller, with high rankings.
Read part of the book. Find that you’re totally not into it. Persevere anyhow to 45% read on your kindle.
Force yourself to read it over the holidays when you SHOULD be reading a book you love, that is light and sweet, and that you can read at night to quiet the celebrations and all the cooking and cleaning you did.
Stop reading the book entirely because reading this book makes you NOT WANT TO READ AT ALL. Take a short break. THEN decide you really should read the ending to find out what happens. Start at 85% on the kindle.
Realise you don’t know enough after reading from 85 – 90% to understand what’s going on and BACK UP (AGAIN!) to 60%. Try to make sense out of confusion until 70% of the book is read.
Lose track of the characters and have no idea who this new person is on the page and wonder what in the world is going on.
BACK UP a third time to 50%. Read it through to the end, slowly, because, again, you’re not that into it. Lose time reading a book you would love which is so frustrating.
Be really mad if you get hit by a bus tomorrow and you’ve spent all these hours reading a book you don’t like that much.
Ask yourself WHY IS THIS BOOK SO LONG?
Finally get done, sigh with relief, lean back and know that you are “literary-free” now and find two more SUPER FUN books to read and find your reading joy again.
Yep. Don’t read a book like I did – backwards and upside down. Put it aside. Pick up another one. Off ya go. Happy 2025 to you.
And no. I’m REALLY not talking about my own books. I promise. BUT, if you don’t like them, you should put them down. I hope, hope, hope that doesn’t happen.
(Only on Amazon.)
