Santa’s Naughty List: You’re On It
Daaannng, people. The North Pole just released Santa’s Naughty List and a bunch of you are on it.
What on Rudolph’s green Earth happened?
Daaannng, people. The North Pole just released Santa’s Naughty List and a bunch of you are on it.
What on Rudolph’s green Earth happened?
$2.99, on kindle, for a short and sweet amount of time, “What I Remember Most.”
A short and sweet synopsis: Her name is Grenadine Scotch Wild.
She was told to run one foggy night in the mountains when she was a child. She doesn’t remember anything else.
She’s now a collage artist and painter.
She’s on the run again.
I hear his voice, then hers. I can’t find them in the darkness. I can’t see them through the trees.
I don’t understand what’s going on, but their horror, their panic, reaches me, throttles me. They scream the same thing. Run, Grenadine, run!
It’s them.
I needed to hide for awhile. To do that, I had to change my appearance.
I went to a cheap hair salon and had them cut six inches off, to the middle of my shoulder blades, then I had them cut a fringe of bangs.
I went home and dyed my hair back to its original auburn color, from the blond it had been the last ten years. I washed it, then dried it with my back to the mirror.
I turned around and studied myself. Yep. That would work.
For the last year I had been Dina Hamilton, collage artist, painter, and blond wife of Covey Hamilton, successful investor. Before that, for almost twenty years, I was Dina Wild.
Now I would be Grenady, short for Grenadine Scotch Wild, my real name, with auburn hair, thick and straight.
Yes, I was named after ingredients in drinks.
It has been a curse my whole life. There have been many curses.
I am cursed now, and I am packing up and getting the hell out of town.
Central Oregon was a good place for me to disappear from my old life and start a new one. I drove south, then east, the fall leaves blowing off the trees, magenta, scarlet, gold, yellow, and orange. It would be winter soon. Too soon.
I stopped at the first small town. There were a few shops, restaurants, and bars. It had the feel of a Main Street that was barely holding on.
There were several storefronts that had been papered over, there were not a lot of people, and it was too quiet.
Still, my goals were clear, at least to me. Eat first, then find a job. I had $520.46 total. It would not last long.
My credit and debit cards, and my checking, savings, and retirement accounts for my business and personal use, had been frozen.
I had the $500 hidden in my jewelry box and $20 in my wallet. The change came from under the seat of my car. To say I was in a bad place would be true. Still. I have been in far, far worse places than this.
At least I am not in a cage. Sometimes one must be grateful for what is not going wrong.
I tried not to make any pathetic self – pitying noises in my throat, because then I would have pissed my own self off. I went to a park to eat some of the non perishable food I’d brought with me. I ate a can of chili, then a can of pineapple.
When I was done, I brushed my hair. I pulled a few strands down to hide one of the scars on my hairline. I put on makeup so I didn’t look so ghastly.
I put extra foundation on the purple and blue bruising over my left eye, brushed my teeth out the car door, and smoothed over my shirt. I was presentable.
I took a deep breath.
This would be the first job I had applied for in many years. I started selling collages and paintings when I was seventeen, and I had not required myself to fill out an application and resume.
I looked into the rearview mirror. My car was packed full of boxes, bedding, bags, and art supplies.
My skin resembled dead oatmeal. “You can do it, Grenady.”
My green eyes, which I’ve always thought were abnormally and oddly bright, were sad, tired, and beat, as if they were sinking into themselves.
“Come on, Grenady,” I snapped at my own reflection. “You got a moose up your butt? Get it out and get moving.”
And that’s a wrap! Novel number ten is DONE and out the door to NYC.
One draft, eight mind numbing edits, five journals, many heartfelt talks with my cat, much wondering if I should quit and go live in the wilds of Alaska and ride caribou.
Novel will be out in September of 2016. Happy day to all of you. I’m going out to play.
You know you are in Deadline Hell when you say, OUT LOUD, to yourself, “Do you want to wash your hair today, Cathy?”
And you answer, OUT LOUD, to yourself, “Nah. Not today.”
Sigh…
Something for me to be proud of: When I cooked Thanksgiving dinner, there were only two SMALL fires in my kitchen.
One stuffing wrapper was accidentally pushed into my gas stove which Darling Laughing Son held up, flames burning, and said, “Uh, mom?” And the other small fire was in my oven from the turkey.
After seeing the flames I said to my brother, a firefighter and paramedic, “Jimmy…” And he drawled, utterly calm, “Just shut the door, Cathy, shut the door.” And, voila! Fire out. Turkey not burned.
Next year my goal is: NO fires in my kitchen. It’s a lofty goal, but I am pretty sure – with strength and courage – that I can do it.
Hope you had a great, no – fire, Thanksgiving!
Hello everyone,
Need a cheap book?
Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn’t call my OWN books “cheap.” How about “inexpensive?”
On Amazon kindle the following books are on sale for a short and sweet amount of time: Henry’s Sisters, $2.51. Julia’s Chocolates $3.53. Such A Pretty Face, $2.99. Happy day to you.
Ninety four cents.
$0.94.
Ninety four pennies.
Yes, that’s how much our anthology, “Our First Christmas” is selling for on Amazon kindle for a short little while. It is a deal that Santa would be jolly proud of.
Go here for a little Christmas treat:
My story is titled “Christmas In Montana.” New York Times best selling authors Mary Carter, Mary Burton, and Lisa Jackson have all written wonderful Christmas stories.
I am, currently, the manager for the hard-rock band Hellfire.
I am quitting tomorrow. My boss, front man Ace Hellfire, real name Peter Watson, son of a pastor, will be unhappy.
It’s going to be a sticky situation, but it doesn’t change my mind.
I have been traveling the world for ten years with Ace, his band, and crew. I have listened to more eardrum-splitting concerts and head-banging rehearsals, and been witness to more temper tantrums and wildness than I ever wanted to see.
My nerves are shot, my exhaustion complete. I don’t think I want to travel again unless it’s to a remote cabin in the woods.
I love to sew but I haven’t sewn in years. I love to embroider but I don’t know if I remember the cross-stitch. I love to cook, but haven’t followed a recipe in way too long. I love to ski, garden, and ride horses, but I never do any of those things.
I have lived out of suitcases for much of every year, my outfits a collage of color, but now I want to find a home, stay in it, and set up a sewing room.
I am a country girl from Kalulell, Montana, who has been working with hard-core rock musicians out of Los Angeles and I am done.
I am headed home for Christmas, and then I will figure out Plan F, the F standing for my Future.
I miss small town life. I have always missed it, especially during the Christmas season. I did not miss, however, what happened on a snowy, dark night on a curvy road. It still haunts me.
Some might say I ran from small town country life, that I wanted the twinkly lights of the city and the excitement.
They would be wrong . I was never running from it. I loved it.
I was running from him.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
Wishing you peace and good eating.
I have enclosed a picture of Martha Stewart to assure you that my Thanksgiving dinner will look nothing like hers.
I am hoping not to burn the turkey, drop the gravy bowl, or singe my hair.
If none of that happens, I will call the dinner a success and have an extra slice of pecan pie.
Cheers to you.
This is an ancient family secret: If you put chocolates in the shape of a smile, all of the calories fly out. Plus, you’re happier when you’re done eating the smile.
I bet you have ancient family secrets, too.
Cathy Lamb All rights reserved © 2011-2026 |
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