One would think I would feel embarrassed after what I did.
I was not embarrassed.
One would think I would make a vow not to do it again.
I will not make that vow.
It all happened at Wal Mart. I went looking for Grape Nuts, as usual. For those of you who do not know, there is a tragic, distressing national shortage of Grape Nuts. I have eaten Grape Nuts for decades. Decades! And now, in the midst of a pandemic my cereal is gone. For months.
I was in my usual Wal Mart – Covid fancy attire: Sweats that have gotten way too tight these last months through no fault of my own, of course. An old rain coat. No make up. Hair ripped back in a ponytail because I was NOT GOING ANYWHERE as usual. My mask.
ONE box of Grape Nuts. My mouth dropped open. I thought I might have heard angels singing.
Highest shelf. Way at the back. No, I did not ask a clerk for a ladder, yes, I CLIMBED THE SHELVES. Who the heck am I? A mountain climber? A Himalayan hiker? No, I am not. I am a mother who is not too fond of heights, and there I was, dangling.
(Is it against the rules to climb Wal Mart shelves? Maybe I should arrest myself.)
But, alas, and bad words, The Grape Nuts was WEDGED into the back of the top shelf. Stuck. I had to climb up those shelves three times, totally ungracefully, hopping up and down like a crazy rabbit, swatting at the box to get it dislodged.
I am sure I looked absolutely ridiculous, like a deranged, middle-aged woman who had lost her blasted mind. I really didn’t care.
I wanted that box. It is Covid. We do stupid stuff.
On the third swat, I got it.
I felt like doing a little jig but I resisted. Climbing Wal Mart shelves was all I could do in one day.
Innocent Husband cheered for me when I got home. We are getting old and odd, but this is what Covid isolation does to you.
You find joy in the tiniest things because ya just have to.
I am so glad that I did not end up on You Tube.
