Oh, those Naughty Nuns.

Today, the NY Times reported, in the article below, that the Vatican wants to get control of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, and those Naughty Nuns.

So what have the Catholic sisters done THIS TIME?

Hold on to your panties:  The nuns have “Promoted radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith.”

For example, some nuns think women should be allowed to become priests.

They approved of Obama’s health plan because it would provide healthcare for everyone.

They have also focused too much on, according to the Vatican, “poverty and economic injustice.”

You see what I mean about those sneaky nuns? They want to help the poor. They want people to have health insurance. They think women would make good priests. How could they?

The pope has appointed two bishops and an arch bishop who are going to bull doze on in and shape ’em up! Reel ’em in. Stomp down on those wild, rampaging, cross wearing ladies.

It is a good thing, me thinks. After spending every single Sunday and most Wednesdays of my childhood in church and catechism classes, I have first hand knowledge of how squirrely those nuns can be.  Why, they read us the bible, taught us bible lessons, shepherded us into communion and confession. They were kind and smiled a lot.

Rebels, all of them.

The pope is pissed and needs to smash those ladies down, nun’s veil and all! Praise the Lord that the Vatican is taking action.  They’re going to control meetings, speakers, and events in future.

I’m pleased because when I think of the Catholic Church and the people who most need to be watched and controlled it’s those wily nuns.

I think this line from the NY TIMES further explains this situation, “The sisters were also reprimanded for making public statements that disagree with or challenge the bishops, who are the church’s authentic teachers of faith and morals.”

Basically: Nuns, shut up. Let the men speak, and you bow down and obey. Submit. You are not authentic because you do not have male plumbing. The bishops are the true teachers of Christ. You are unable to teach about faith or morals because you have breasts on your chest.

Move over, sit down, and listen to the men. They know all.

I remember that fairly recently the Vatican was outraged at a group of nuns in  San Francisco. The nuns spent their time working with the poor and disadvantaged. They dared to leave the convent.

The pope said they should spend more time “in prayer.” Now, throw a bible at my head, but I don’t think God is keeping a chart to see who prays the most and the longest. A nun can pray just fine serving meals to the homeless. She can pray just fine working with the poor. How does it help the disadvantaged to have the nuns holed up in a convent praying all day?

God hears their first prayers the first time, no need to repeat yourself for hours when you’d rather be involved in the poor kids’  lives down the street.

But let’s back this up Biblically. What did Jesus do? He prayed.

He prayed while walking from town to town and giving sermons. He prayed with the disciples while ministering to everyone. He prayed while blessing people, performing miracles, and healing the sick. He prayed while baptizing thousands in the name of the father, the son and the holy ghost.

He did not stay home in his Vatican – like mansion, amidst gold and silver, amidst art worth billions, amidst priceless hand painted ceilings and murals, amidst food aplenty and tranquil days and a pope – mobile, and pray.

He got out there, walked thousands of miles, and taught people about the love and mercy and grace of God, often barefoot, and he didn’t have a dime.

Hmm.  By golly. That sounds like what the nuns were doing! Shame on them!

And now I’m going to be mean, and non – nun like.

I don’t see how a group of virginal men, in their cloistered mansion/Vatican, with their servants and manicured gardens, their billions of dollars worth of art, property, cash, and businesses, their pointy white hats and red shoes, can possibly understand what life is truly like. They are so far detached, so clueless, it would be laughable if it wasn’t so painful.

The pope is against birth control, so millions of people in poor countries who can’t afford children don’t use it, and their kids live in squalor. They are against condoms, which can prevent HIV. They believe in abstinence. That doesn’t work well, now does it?

That the Vatican would rail against the nuns, whose life’s mission is to serve Jesus and his people, is appalling. That the Vatican would send their bishops and arch bishops in to take control of the nuns’ organization is so beyond sexist and demeaning and senseless, I wouldn’t be surprised – but I would be pleased  – if all the nuns quit in protest.

When I think of the Vatican and the pope and priests, I can’t help but think of the abuse scandal and the thousands upon thousands of boys and girls who, for decades, were sexually attacked by the priests. When their parents raised a fuss about their kid being raped, the bishops simply MOVED THE PRIEST TO ANOTHER PARISH, so the pedophile – priests could have  a whole new crop of kids to sexually abuse.

The Vatican didn’t get it. The Vatican didn’t care. They are supposed to protect, love and care for the children, above all. As Jesus did.

The Vatican, the priests, the archbishops, they all failed beyond belief, their morals non – existent, to the sickening detriment of all those innocent children. They took no action to protect children from pedophile priests until they were forced to by massive lawsuits.

They knew about it, and they hid it. How Christian was that? How is that in line with Jesus’ teaching?

I would think that the Vatican would be more interested in cleaning up its own mess, getting rid of abusive priests who have current and credible accusations against them, and working to find a way to keep pedophiles out of the priesthood, than chasing down nuns who work with disadvantaged children.

I would also think, if the Vatican’s occupants truly knew the bible, that they would focus on the things that Jesus focused on: Ministering to people. Bringing comfort and care. Teaching others about God’s love and kindness. Caring for the sick and hurt.

But those sneaky nuns! Believing in health care for all. Believing that health care should be a right, not a privilege. Believing that people in this country should not die because they cannot afford medical care. Well, that just steamed the Vatican all up. Get those radical feminist nuns!

You go, Vatican, you go pope! Onward ho to the archbishop!

Praise be, muzzle those nuns.

For they are doing good work for all of us, they have given up their lives to help the poor, the scared, the marginalized,  the desperate, like Jesus, and this just cannot – cannot – go on.

 

https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/us/vatican-reprimands-us-nuns-group.html